Flame-Grilled Nugget and the Honey Mustard Reek of Hypocrisy

So I was reading Burning Down The House by Charles Baxter at work today and managed to get through the first essay in the book, which is more or less about the lack of responsibility Americans take for their own feelings and actions and how that affects readers and writers of current fiction in the U.S.  Plenty more on this later, but in the meantime it got me thinking about advice columns.  I often read advice columns in the paper because of their daytime-television appeal.  How does that appeal work? you may ask, if you are an alien being currently perusing the interwebs for information that will eventually lead to the destruction of the human race.  Well, witnessing advice is a way of judging people from a comfortable distance and a way of feeling completely comfortable in your judgments while at the same time feeling superior for not belonging to that lowly class of people who seek reassurance from some random authority figure.  In other words, you can simultaneously reassure yourself about your own position in the world and look down on someone else for doing exactly the same thing. Only you aren't exposing yourself.  I don't really have anything else to say that's not redundant, but any quip that I use to tie off this entry, like "I'm telling you, it's great!" is likely to come off as purely sarcastic, so here's my smoke bomb:

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